It is so interesting as I begin to write and get into alignment with that which I desire to do and create. I am a writer, this comes naturally to me to produce thought provoking content through writing my opinion, I am not the greatest at speaking my desires into existence.
I decided to write a blog post on the shadow work of shadow work as I am currently experiencing something I find related to this topic, I have done SO much shadow work that now it is second nature. As soon as I am experiencing any emotion I am immediately in reflection on why it is showing up for me. For a very long time in my life I would cling to external validation to attempt at making myself feel whole (with no results) and as a result I would always seek external validation of whatever it was I was feeling.
This examination of what I was experiencing is now showing up as:
"It's ok to feel this feeling right, even if its bad"
I have done so much work to make myself feel lighter and high frequency that I forgot that I am still human and a large part of my journey here is to go through the perceived negative emotions that arise as they arise.
It isn't all love and light, not even close.
That was my latest lesson on the shadow work of shadow work is that sometimes you have to let go of the analysis and move forward even if it feels "bad".
In this particular moment I was experiencing envy, shame and a bit of resentment in my energy. I was not wishing ill upon another but I just did not like something that I was witnessing and it wasn't a bad thing for that person or me but I found myself examining what I was feeling with a fine tooth comb.
Surely there had to be a reason why I was feeling this way, what was I lacking to be envious of another?
It's funny in this energy I was not realising my worth. I was comparing my creations and everything that comes out of my mind and into this physical reality with the vision and creation of another who does something completely different than I do and yet I found myself jealous either way.
Isn't that interesting.
When we hang out in an energy for too long we become it. I was becoming this completely analytical mind that was always questioning why I was experiencing something rather then just allowing myself to experience it.
I was feeling envy, and instead of finding what I was doing wrong and what I was lacking in me to move through the energy, I just allowed myself to feel it.
I allowed myself to witness this feeling, express within that I just did not like something.
I realised there is nothing missing in me to cause this envy, I am whole already, it is human to experience these perceived negative emotions so why oh why am I questioning myself so harshly.
I am allowed to feel all of the feelings, I gave myself permission to feel all of the emotions that I am feeling.
Then I forgot.
Then I forgave myself, without judgement or criticism.
Then I allowed myself to feel envy, to not like something.
Then like the leader I am, I moved into alignment with my highest calling.
Shadow work is most important, I will say it over and over and over again.
So is moving forward.
Allow the emotions, all of them and you don't always have to question yourself in the experience, sometimes you just need to allow yourself to feel exactly what it is you feel in order to move forward in alignment with your energy.
Pay attention to your emotions, but never become them.