For a long time my energy was aligned with darkness. It was heavily consumed by the energy of my shadow self and I was really struggling to come out on top. I kept reliving this same pattern over and over again, telling myself I am not worthy of that which I desire, my efforts will never be enough simply because I am not worthy of all my goals. This was THE narrative of my life for a very long time.
In this energy I was miserable. I was not able to truly embrace all the abundance that I already had in my life because I was not able to see the positive in all of the situations that would arise in my life. All of our choices have consequences good and bad, there is always a darkness and light polarity in everything we do, every choice we make. When we operate out of the shadow self we are operating out of those parts of ourselves that are hidden or rejected. We can become afraid of our own success, afraid of change, afraid of the unknown, and this keeps us in a mentality of lack, judgement and leave us feeling unworthy.
"Why can't I get it right?"
This phrase was something I told myself numerous times in my life. I was judging myself harshly for making perceived wrong or bad choices in my life. I was in the energy of lack, lacking confidence, lacking belief and just overall lacking self worth. I did not believe that I was worthy simply because I exist in this world, something I would find out to be false later on in my life in the best possible way but we will get to that later on in this series.
I digress, What was I doing wrong? I was making choices in the moment that I felt were right for me I was moving in alignment with how I was feeling inside so why was nothing working in my favour? What was I lacking?
Belief in myself that I was truly making the choices that were right for me. By focusing on the "can't" in any sentence we are feeding into the shadow energy of lack. By focusing on what we do not have VS what we do have we are operating out of the shadow energy (the darkness polarity). The universe is all about flow, the energy we are feeling, the emotions we are experiencing is how we flow (or don't flow) with the universal current.
When we are constantly choosing the negatives in our lives, when we are clinging to the "I can't" of our inner narratives, when we are making ourselves the victim in our story the universe says "okay, and so it is" and that is what we align with in our reality. The more energy we put into the darker aspects of ourselves and how we are feeling in a negative way, the more self criticism, fear, judgement and doubt we put on ourselves the heavier our energy and the more pessimistic we become. The more we feed the shadows the more they show up for us and that is not a very pleasant experience for anyone.
What I have learned about the shadows over this past year of my journey is vast, I am able to effortlessly travel between the realms of darkness and light and see the shadows that not only plague myself and others but the collective as a whole. There are many layers to the shadows for all of us not only individually but collectively as well. Each shadow faced with unconditional love is a win for the collective. It is my goal to make the journey through the shadows as easy as possible for anyone I work with. If this feels scary, I encourage you to continue to read this blog, there will be so much more information coming.
My approach to shadow work is through radical self acceptance and unconditional love. It is a journey of integrating who you truly are, in the darkness and the light. It is illuminating our truth, the whole truth we are experiencing in this world. Our feelings are valid, all of them. They exist for a reason and knowing why we are feeling a certain way at any given time is important for the process of healing and integrating our shadows.
Shadow work is a journey. We must remember to take our time as we navigate the darker energies that are apart of us all. They are there for a reason and the more light that is shed on this energy, the more aware we become of our shadows and how they are effecting us the easier it becomes to see our light, to thrive in our light.
No more surviving the darkness, it's time to thrive.