What is shadow work?
How do we work towards integrating our shadows?
For a long time I was in the energy of neglect. I was neglecting my true feelings, all of them, the good and the bad ones. I believed I was not worthy of anything I desired in life and I was more in that mode of why are all these bad things happening to me? I simply was not piecing together that I may have been creating my own reality simply by believing that these bad things were happening to me because I wasn't believing that I was worthy of more.
If that feels confusing imagine how that energy is being received by the universe. The universal energy is not a negative energy, we create that negative energy in our present reality. If we are in alignment with the beliefs that what we are creating, choosing and manifesting is something that we are not worthy of then the universe is like "??????". We must believe that we are worthy of everything we desire in this life, we must fully surrender to the reality that we desire. If you desire to like an abundant, joyful and happy life but you are always speaking negatively of yourself and others, choosing to allow negativity in your life, not honouring your boundaries, and neglecting those wounds that lie below the surface then how can you make space for that abundance, joy and bliss?
This is something I have learned along my journey. I used to be in a very repetitive negative pattern of not feeling worthy, enough or beautiful. I was very hard on myself and I never believed in myself or my abilities so I completely denied them. I often chose fear and pessimism over joy and positive thinking. Thoughts like "Why me?" plagued me from time to time. "What did I do to deserve this?" was another narrative I would repeat in my head. I was constantly beating myself up over these negative feelings / choices, I was so focused on the negative aspect of my life that I had no space left to let in any positive.
A lot of my adult relationships suffered because I was in that negative mindset of not feeling worthy of more than I was receiving so I was attracting people into my life who did not see my value, because quite frankly, I didn't see my value. I was so stuck in that mindset I was unable to embrace positive things in my life because I did not have space with all that negativity plaguing me in the conscious and subconscious space. I started reaching out to people who had similar goals and aspirations as myself, people who were on the spiritual path before me who understood what I was going through, the people who held space, not judgement.
Held space for me and my choices, my trauma, my experiences NOT Judgement. There was no judgement only support, love and encouragement that my feelings, ALL of them were valid. Then I realised something that was a game changer on my own journey.
I NEVER VALIDATED MY OWN FEELINGS!
I always felt guilty for experiencing the feelings I was experiencing. Almost shameful sometimes like I have this great life, I have the kids, the house, the dog, that white picket fence experience but there was still something that I felt "lacking" in my life. I felt like opening up about how I truly felt would cause great shame and fear because that is what was I was trained to believe growing up. That it was shameful to express my feelings and that I would look ridiculous to others for being emotional, it was "too much" to be.......me.
I can't remember a time when my inner child felt valid for expressing herself authentically, I can't remember a time when my inner child was able to feel her emotions authentically without shame or fear that others would judge her for what it was she was expressing. My inner child was not worthy of being herself, she was too much for others to digest so she made herself small, the authentic me, the inner child me would never be "enough" for this world.
This was my belief, this was the weight I had been carrying for years of my life. When I validated my experience it was the game changer for me. Shadow work is this work. Shadows are those hidden / rejected emotions that hold us back from accessing our highest self, they hold us back from truly accepting and honouring our soul. Shadows are emotions like fear, doubt, grief, anxiety, rejection and judgement. These feeling we experience often become our beliefs about ourselves. The traumas we experience in our lives really play a large role in how we view ourselves and the narratives we repeat in our lives. These inner narratives dictate our frequency to the universe. If we are always telling ourselves we aren't worthy, or hard on ourselves and in a more victim based mentality that is our frequency, that is our energy.
Shadow work is about accepting who you are in the present by examining how you got there in the first place. It is the act of going within and examining your mindset in the negative energy and how you can use that knowledge to make choices that align with your soul, that honour that inner child energy.
What are you doing today to honour your soul?