As I began to grow and shed light on my shadows and really see what they are and how they were holding me back from accessing my psychic abilities that tone of underlying guilt and remorse quickly sank in. Like I was always worthy of the life I desired no matter who or what got in my way along my journey but I was not feeling like I was. I was holding myself back from accessing the life I truly desired because I simply was refusing to see. In my refusal to see my self I was denying the beauty within.
Going through life never believing you are worthy of more than you are getting out of life is a way of holding you back from true growth and acceptance of self. You are no longer steering the ship in your life, your guilt, anger, frustration, resentment and fear are. I was finding I was resisting going with the flow because after having not felt worthy for a good chunk of my adult life it became comfortable to live in this state. It became comfortable to keep believing I was not worthy because it was all I knew.
As I went through life I was presented the idea that if you want something take it, you can shift your life to match what you want if you choose to. I remember always thinking how?
How do I become happy? How can I make changes? I have looming responsibilities and copious amounts of deadlines and I was able to meet the requirements at the time but I was not happy with the direction of my life but I felt like if I was coasting that this was obviously all I was worthy of.
Often we get stuck in our limiting beliefs that life has to be a certain way and when we change something about our circumstances dramatically others will perceive it as either a good shift or a bad shift and we will be judged. We form our beliefs heavily on how others will perceive our worth and we end up neglecting ourselves to serve this belief that is so deeply ingrained in society.
The truth is, we have the power to find our truth and our worth to our community in us. There should never be shame associated with the paths people take in life because it is their path not ours. Helping others is allowing them space to make their own choices based on their own intuition. You simply can not help people who do not want to be helped. I did not want to be helped for a long time. I started shifting through finding my intuition and connecting the dots along my own journey.
I am a Writer but I neglected writing from a young age because an English teacher in my high school told me I was not smart enough to be a writer. I wanted to be seen as worthy enough to be a writer so bad. I had many stories that would flow through my imagination I wanted to be seen I wanted these parts of me to be released and read. I very much wanted to write it lit me up it really lit me up and I knew it. After being told that I did not write, I thought surely I was not worthy of being a writer and I would never achieve the level of success I desired because I would never be smart enough or good enough to write at the level I was desiring to write at.
This really held me back from going with the flow. My authentic frequency is in writing. It is in creating different ways to connect with my audience to spread messages of healing and help others see their value through whatever I am writing. I wanted people to engage in what they are reading and find themselves in the reflection. Writing is my tool, my worth as a person is power.